The person you thought you knew...

The sociopath is so good at lying that even a year later you will question…was she/he a sociopath? The confirmation rests within. That voice that will not leave you alone about it, telling you to stay alert and look at anyone that acts like this and run! Listen to it…it is your intuition and it is never wrong.

See looking back is my problem. I keep looking back and reliving certain scenarios or things that were said and thinking how did I NOT know? I did…I just wasn’t aware that this creature existed and sure in the hell didn’t think that I would be in a relationship with one. See I was in denial but I was never at ease inside NOR happy and that was my hint. 

I can look back and see so many times I got certain vibes or realized things and I know now I was right every time. For example, I used to call her Psycho when I first met her. I did not like her. She sent flowers after our first date. She would text every single morning and say HI. She knew if she could get in that she could conquer. She even told me that she knew how to get me and she got me. She TOLD me that. So I know she thought that way and I thought wow she noticed things that most people don’t. I had been graduated from college a year and was living with my roommates still and she noticed we didn’t have food in the refrigerator so she stocked hers. She studied me and had identified something that I didn’t even know. I wanted to have an environment much like how I did when I was growing up. So she gave me just that. When she took it away that is why it hurt so much more. I had a comfort I did similar to the one I had growing up.

The way she treated waitresses and people was rude. I would tell her that. She would look at me with surprised? I am rude? The end of the relationship is what woke me up and made me want to see what it is that was really going on. Which led to my research and in turn led to me realizes what she was.

See when you end a relationship with a normal person there is closure. You may be sad but you can deal with it and know that person is hurting. When you know that person is fine and doesn’t feel a thing and WANTS to hurt you or punish you. That is NOT normal. That hurts like hell. It is a deep soul wrenching hurt. Deep deep down within your core.

You see you want that person to have been who you first met...who you fell in love with. The part you have to MAKE yourself realize is that the person was never that person you fell in love with. They were the one that kicked you out of your house and replaced you within a week. Like you were nothing...the same way we take out the trash and put a clean bag in....