It's what they do!

. My ex had me thinking I was doing things on my own and now aware that she was secretly persuading things or guiding them in that direction. 

“Another way in which psychopaths condition their partners to accept a toxic relationship is by gradually pushing the envelope of deviant requests. Since psychopaths are easily bored and need constant thrills, they may initially ask their targets to make out in public, under the pretense that they’re so attracted to them that they can’t keep his hands off of them. In reality, however, psychopaths are not as attracted to their partners, even at the beginning of the relationship, as to the thrill of crossing the boundaries of public decency and demeaning their partners. Recall from my previous post that psychopaths are extreme narcissists who derive most pleasure from the dominance and victimization of others.

As soon as the victim complies with one perverse request, it becomes normative. After a short while, the psychopath will demand more indecent behavior from her, once again pretending that it stems from their great and special passion. Pretty soon, the victim finds herself complicit with his abnormal behavior, sometimes even addicted to it.Not surprisingly, this technique is often used by pimps to create loyalty and submission in the women and girls they ensnare into prostitution. What begins under the guise of romantic love and passion–something that most women yearn for–ends up being what it always was in reality and in the psychopath’s evil design: a form of sexual slavery.”

I got that from http://www.abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-psychopath-conditions-his-victims.html

I have seen this personally, actually with my ex’s sociopath gf. This was her partner in crime and bf with benefits for 15 years. While I was with my gf and her bff was around with her gf I would witness this. I watched her go through 3 of them. I also watched as a new gf went to the bathroom when we were all out she made out with her old gf and hell now that I know the truth I am sure she made out with mine as well! She was so crazy with PDA that I couldn't understand it. I thought at first that it was the woman and that they were just very in love but no she is like that with everyone. Which is why it didn't hurt quite so bad when I saw this with my her and my ex girlfriend. I knew that it wasn't something special just another notch in the belt. I dangerously and I wouldn't advise this did say to her in the end I know you are a sociopath and she said I am. I think she thought I wouldn’t believe me but all I said was, yes I know. I said well you know (my ex her gf ) is too and she said well she has met her match then. So sometimes I imagine they are happy but in reality there is no way. They may be their version of happy and that is nothing I want to partake in. My ex used to look at me and say, "You are so miserable." She would say when we had sex that she was doing her "wifely duty" I do not know why I allowed this but I think it is because A.) I didn't really think that I was living with a sociopath. She was that good. B.) She didn't physically abuse me. C.) She was so subtle and good at lying! I would still not know if she was or not. I mean I believed that she loved me. Although I do remember especially at the end thinking there is no emotional connection between us. There is something "missing." I do not know how to explain it other than something was off and I couldn't put my finger on it but I knew it. I did know the whole time that she just wasn't as compassionate or good-natured as I was. I feel like she projected a lot of that onto me and I am still trying to get rid of it.I have mentioned before on my other posts that at the end when we broke up I was so hurt and crying but I felt like at least I am human and I can feel emotions.

What is weird is that my ex claims she didn't cheat on me until after a couple of years so it took her awhile to get bored of me I assume that means. I never caught her cheating and I trusted her. She was good to me for a LONG time. Well good in monetary and taking care of me ways. Good in I didn't know she was planning my demise kind of ways.When I talked to her new gf she said that (she was her best friend or so I thought) when she came to stay with us for the weekend sometimes they would mess around. Also whenever my ex would go home for Christmas and they would have sex. My thing is that is disgusting and who else did she mess around with or cheat on me with? I mean hell she could have had other girlfriends for all I know.

I do know she caught me off guard, she destroyed a lot of who I am, and I am still not on my feet after over a year. It was like some sort of phenomenon, she was so good at manipulating me and giving me just what I needed until she literally hooked me and knew she could do or say whatever it is she wanted. I knew something was off, although I could not explain it and still can’t and now I know what it is obviously just a little too late. I cannot for the life of me understand how she did this all so subtly I didn't know or maybe I was just not aware. This is the kind of stuff I wish I was taught and just like you are taught to not take candy from strangers I needed to know this.

We all have heard of the “sociopath test” right? It is not real and they say an old American psychologist used it. Well if not here it is:

“While at the funeral of her own mother, she met a guy whom she did not know.

She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be, that she fell in love with him there and then... A few days later, the girl killed her own sister.”

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

*Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again. This is not real by any means but it does show how someone thinks. I received this via a forward through work email one day and came home to ask my gf this. She answered it spot on. Nobody else thought remotely close to this. I said you heard this before right? She said no why it’s a riddle and I got it I am smart. I said well it is a sociopath test. She got so defensive and changed the subject. Said she just out smarted it.

It is like I constantly research in my spare time. I think to myself how long I am going to read all of this stuff on the internet and constantly want to know more about his. It is like a thirst for knowledge I cannot quench. I want all of my questions answered and I want them answered now! I am not going to stop writing and reading and sharing the knowledge I have found through myself and others until I am fulfilled. I do not know but I know why but I know this is what I am supposed to do. I want to help someone who feels like I do. I want one person to feel a HUMAN cares even though I may not know you. We are brothers and sisters who have been wounded the same way and nobody understands. So we isolate ourselves and do not trust the world. I am there, so I know, but that being said anybody reading this know that there are more good than bad. My issue is I only see the good in people. I thought she cared but in the end she was sleeping and eating just fine as I was falling apart. She didn't care just out of her sight. I thought how can she sleep? She said I got over you years ago. Well then why in the F$#% didn’t you leave me then!

I’ll never forget the look in her eye when we first met, like she wanted to eat me for dinner and then the look when she was done with me. Two very different looks, two very different people and I didn't know either one of them and that my friend is a sociopath.